Friday, January 22, 2010

Anyone Need a Good Laugh Today???

They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:


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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

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The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.

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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So that ends a friendship that began in their school days.

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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow..

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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.

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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered..

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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon..

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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.

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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door. -

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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance..

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The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.

I hope you enjoyed reading these as much as I did. They are so funny!!!

On Saturday some friends of ours are coming over to help us put chair rail up in the dining room. I think it will make a big difference. I will post pictures of the progress as it occurs.

I hope all of you have a great Saturday and spend some time with the people you love. Don't forget to set back and relax some. Take care!

~Dan~


17 comments:

Kitty said...

Hilarious! I'm sitting here cracking up! Can't wait to see the new chair rail pics! sounds sweeeeeeetttt!!

Cat Nap Inn Primitives said...

oh those were too funny..I loved the bean supper music to follow...have a great weekend and I can't wait to see what you accomplish this weekend..:)

Debbie said...

There are so many cute ones in there. Thank you for sharing it... made me smile :)

Can't wait to see the pictures of the chair rail. I always loved those.

Debbie

Kath ~★The Olde Weeping Cedar ★~ said...

LOL! I need a good chuckle :)
Have a happy day!

Tammy ~ Country Girl at Home ~ said...

You gotta love those church bulletin bloopers! I've seen some of them before, but there were a couple new ones....they are hilarious! Thanks for sharing!

Have a great Saturday!
Tammy

Janene said...

What a great way to start a weekend...with a good laugh. Makes you wonder if they typed those on purpose or it was a complete faux pas!
I love the look of chair rails too. They really make a big decorative difference in a room. Be sure to post pictures!
Have a great weekend!

Willow said...

O.k. I needed that ! Nothing like a good laugh to start the day off. There were soooo many funny ones I can't pick a fav lol. Thanks for sharing. Can't wait to see your chair rail.
Prim Huggs n Blessins
TJ

Never So Simple said...

Too funny! Thanks for the morning laughs.

Donna

Lynn said...

Thanks for the chuckle this morning Dan!! Really great start to a great weekend!!These were really good!!
Have a great weekend Dan!!

Laura said...

DAN!!! You made me smile !!!! It is a great SELECTION!!!
Have a nice week end and see you on CS Forum!!
Laura (Tesoricountry)

Grammy Linda / Behind My Red Door said...

LOLOLOL - thanks for the laughs!! We needed one today!!

JenR65 said...

Thanks for the laughs Dan, can't wait to see how your chair rail looks! Hope you are having a great weekend!

Donna~One Simple Country Girl said...

Dan,
These are so funny! Thanks for sharing. Your home is so gorgeous already ~ can't imagine it looking any better. Can't wait to see the pics of your chair rail progress. Hope you have a great Sunday! Peyton and Parker are so cute! I love Peyton's sundress. I bought Sophie a thermal shirt, a sundress and a sweater yesterday. So far, she's not real crazy about wearing them! LOL!
Hugs,
Donna

Donna~One Simple Country Girl said...

Dan,
Opps, I realized I typed Peyton's name instead of Parker when I commented about the sundress! Sorry about that! Anway, they are both just too adorable!
Hugs,
Donna

Lisa B. said...

These are hilarious. I love your blog.

Lisa B.

ddogood said...

Thanks for the giggle Dan. Those were really cute.

Donna
Candlelady

CareyCottage said...

So funny!!!!!!!